self control...

I'm going to have to restrain myself this evening as I sit before my pc at 10.28pm on the day of carolyn, twitch and jen's births...not because its amazingly late but because I have decided that in all things small and grand I need to be obedient. Within the category of small and meagre things comes looking after one's sleeping patterns and one's daily routine...(come to think of it are those things really so meagre?...I must say I'm beginning to think not...)

I realised this afternoon that its been almost a week since I last posted on my blog and I couldn't quite understand it...I think it has something to do with time and then also with our inability to really fathom and fully comprehend such an incomprehensible aspect of life...

I had a great chat this evening which stirred up in my heart the desire to come write but I knew I'd have to practise self control as I could sit here for hours writing about many of the mysteries and wows that I keep discovering and pouring over in life...during this same chat I was directed to a site with amazing photography and once again self control was the order of the day and I truly think I'm awestruck...awestruck with art and the concept that it's been created to reflect so very much...unfortunately with that came the sadness of art being misused and distorted...but there is room and more than enough for the redemption of beauty lost, beauty to come and beauty right now...

happy birthday to my dear friends...this is truly a day that has served to bless many of us as you have each touched so many of our lives in many ways...I am going to go about that practise of self discipline right now as the time is now 10.50pm and I must get up within good time on the morrow...sorry for the jumping and jerkyness of this post, I have a head full of thoughts, pictures and feelings...I'm feel like one of those home made soups with all sorts of weird and wonderful ingredients, an amalgamation of muchness...

...eats and drinks...

so I just got back from a pretty cool get-together...it consisted of a group of pretty lovely girls whom I am just starting to get to know...well some I have been getting to know for a while but I'm still getting to know them more and more as time goes by which is great! The night consisted of cocoa for some, coffee for others and some deliciously scrumptious chocolate coconut things, there was much laughter, as well as a few embarassing stories which soon moved into a more serious overtone discussing many wonders of life.

How exciting it is to get to meet and make new friends and to get to know other 'acquintances' that much more...plus it was great to see my 2nd room ever in Allan Gray res...plus I even got a sneak preview of a third! What a revolutionary night for me...in more ways than one...those of you who know me pretty well may get what I mean by revolutionary...those of you who don't, just take my word for it I had a great night and am excited to see the work God's doing at the moment...

so all in all, today was pretty darn freezing if you ask me, but what a great day to have the varsity fix your heater and what a perfect day to be invited for hot cocoa and chocolate treats with a stunning group of girls!

a special day...

So its that day...the day my parents got married quite a few years ago! I'm excited about that...its quite a great thing! I love my parents quite dearly (actually more than quite dearly but I thought that sounded quite proper and great...my love for them can't be expressed in words very well, the words limit my love) and wish I could have been with them today, but you know what it's alright as I'll be seeing them in just a few short weeks! I think todays post should be dedicated to them...not that I'm even sure of what I'd say...except what a lovely example my parents have set for me. I wish I had a picture on my computer of that special day so I could share it with you all...but then again it may not mean as much to you as it does to me as they're my parents and not really yours...hmmm....

Anyways happy anniversary to my wonderful parents...today has been a good day...

CHRISTIANS...

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'."
I'm whispering "I was lost,
Now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace, somehow!

By Maya Angelou

I thought this was beautiful so decided to share it! I think it's a great thing to keep in mind as we deal with the world...its good to remember who we are...

friday night...

Its amazing how so often there's very little planning involved in an evening spent with friends but there's just so much fun to be had. So much laughter and good company...I've just returned from the 'bible belt' where I had dinner with Vicki which was great then we went down the road to partake in a few rounds of 30 seconds soon to be followed by 'deadhead'...what laughs we had...it was amazing to just sit back once in a while stealing a glance or two at people whilst they were interacting...such beautiful people, such light and love shining through them as they competitively tried to give clues to teammates....mmm I'm feeling so blessed right now knowing that God has brought such amazing people into my life and that there are many more children of His who are to be met or to get to know better...

Just something to remember as well....Brazil is not in Spain yes...and neither is it in Portugal...:)

the crispness of autumn...

I've been out basically all day...so I haven't really come up with anything to write just yet plus I'm on my way out again as I have d-cell and then dinner at ck's house. but I had to quickly share this pic (yes those are redened leaves due to the autumn process)...I took it yesterday and was loving it...I'm very much enjoying this autumn, God has opened my eyes and my heart this season, showing me things I'd never realised before. I won't get into it all now...but as you walk around campus (or wherever you happen to be) try taking in the crisp air, walk over the blanket of beautifully dried leaves and enjoy the multitude of warm splashes of colour...take the time to absorb it all...

words...

my last bit of procrastination before I really do get to work on this tut! I think this pic is pretty humorous! There are some great ones like it...sarah's sense of humour...maybe its a ling thing? Fish?...anyone?

how does it feel...

So I've given out my blogsite name thingy and have had 2 comments (YAY for that!)...I'm feeling quite vulnerable knowing that now people will be viewing my blog every now and again if they decide I have something worth reading or considering. I didn't ever mention though or put in place a disclaimer that I enjoy writing and sometimes that writing which I intend to be short and sweet becomes long...and sometimes very long indeed...but I'm going to not hold back...read or don't read, skim or pour over the stuff its up to you and your time restraints obviously...

I mentioned to my dad that I was setting up a blog and his response was "I've heard about them but never seen one so I'll be interested when yours is up and running. I must say I always thought theywere a bit odd, designed for people with an exhibitionist inkling!!" I must say that at first I wasn't too sure even exactly what "an exhibitionist inkling" was but I think I get the jist and looking over other people's blogs...I'm glad to say that I don't believe many of us fall into this category...maybe its breakthrough...maybe we're working towards setting a new precedent.

So I was also wondering today if I'd always have things to say...but I really believe that won't be a hassle, plus if I do its not as if I have to submit a post every day...

I think despite having this urge to sit on my computer blogging and typing emails or sitting on my bed to read on this overcast drizzly afternoon I need to begin to practise discipline and obedience and get on with some work. I must admit I'm struggling with motivation slightly...but once I get started hopefully it will be a breeze...

I have decided to give out my blog address...I'm going to do it...I think I've finally plucked up the courage now that I've chosen a blog name that I'm thriving off! Here goes hopefully I won't be judged but then again my identity shouldn't be found in the responses to a blog now should it? Plus Euan has already judged me for asking if China was still a communist state!

So I was sitting sipping hot coffee this afternoon with a special character in my life and before we got too far into a dmc I got asked if I was trying to commit 'christian suicide'! Now I managed to laugh for about 20 minutes due to such an obscene comment...I don't mind if you don't find this statement as funny as I did...but basically here I was starting to get more involved in reading challenging but life giving and changing books written by amazingly wow people and because of that I get asked if I'm trying to commit christian suicide. Not only do I attempt to read Judges whilst trying to deal with some overwhelming issues in my heart, but then I try to read "The heavenly man" at the same time as "Abba's child". I wonder if that's maybe biting off too much than I can chew?

I hope I can get good at this blogging thing...oh binx I have your milk you left it here this afternoon! haha...my special character revealled.

I've been thinking more about words once again, I can't seem to get them out of my head! I think this is definitly more and more of a sign to major in linguistics next year regardless of having to drop it for the year!

So....words...they're life giving and death bringing...that's quite hectic if you ask me. It made me stop and think, I've heard this before but to sit and actually realise that I can't in my current capacity kill someone physically but I can through the words I speak kill someone emotionally or spiritually, I can even kill myself in such ways and my children and their children-wow! But on the flip side what we say is an overflow of the heart so if I have a pure heart I am then given the ability to give life to others emotionally and spiritually.

I think I've said enough for now, I have to go for my first ballet lesson of the term and hope that I'm still able to walk tomorrow morning!

Think about your words as I ponder over mine...

...nervousness?

So basically I've had my first post up for a few days, however I was too nervous to let anyone who asked me know what my blogspot name was in case I managed to somehow embarrass myself. Maybe I'm still too nervous considering the fact that I have this blog and am my only frequent viewer?I'm not too sure what to write on such a public spot where people can see what the goings on are and all that...I just wanted to try it all out for the sake of writing and being like all the cool kids...jokes do cool kids blog? I think I was and am still more attracted to the writing...ask anyone who slightly knows me...writing is a great part of what I love to do and I'm growing more and more reliant on it...not to the point of co-dependency (incase anyone thought otherwise)!

a blog set up from scratch...

So words are pretty great things...they convey a multitude of things...feelings, thoughts, emotiongs. They are used to communicate, update, inform, induce tears and create hysterical fits of laughter (amongst so much more). I was pondering the other day the extreme effects that words can have, the underlying meanings below the surface of each and every word...but then my mind started getting confused...such deep thinking had to be saved for another day...wow I can't wait to do linguistics again next year...I'll have an excuse to think about words more...

The words I'm going to (hopefully) write on this blog will be an attempt to inform you of the goings on, the revs and the experiences of my life whether here in Grahamstown or back home in Botswana or maybe even from exotic locations where blessings have landed me...